Patience Without a Push Will Leave You Standing Still

This ending was, as expected, tragic. I don’t think there was anything redeeming about it. Desiree had wanted to change her world and for a while, she did. She lived in the big fancy house and got to wear beautiful dresses and , at the end of the night, she would kiss her prince. But her happiness was two-dimensional. This idea of fated love that she clung to never came to fruition. Danielle used her. She made him better and he was willing to sacrifice her health for his own. She gave up everything for a chance with him and he must have known. He wasn’t stupid. He knew she was a peasant; he knew he was her only chance. He must have known she would give up everything for him. And sure, he wanted to “keep” her, but how demeaning is that? Her sacrifice was treated as a show of loyalty from a pet to its owner. He owned her. He didn’t think she was good enough to marry; I don’t even think he thought she was smart enough to want marriage or maybe he thought her smart enough to realize marriage was an impossibility. The worst part of this whole situation is that she loved him or at least her idea of him. She was devoted to the idea of being a mistress of grand homme, of establishing herself as the wife of man from her fantasies. She was in love with part of him, and maybe he was in love with part of her too, but hers had encompassed her being. Her entire life became whatever he wanted for her, but he never could see her. That last day when Daniel got married, he looked out into the crowd and into her eyes and he didn’t see her. Her eyes, her soul, were indistinguishable to him. This great love that she became attached to was false hope that had been left alive for too long. It sucks because she gave her livelihood away for him and he gets to just turn his head away, get married, and be OK. She is heartbroken afterwards- not just because Daniel doesn’t love her, but because her dreams, her hopes,her connection with the gods, are not strong enough to get her out of this. This time it won’t work out. At this point, she’s starved with grief and this death of her hopes- the hopes that were the only things keeping her going, the only things keeping her standing- crushed her. Her death is not hopeful; it’s sad and it feels pointless and it makes me angry. The only OK thing about this entire situation is “the promised storm that broke with a vengeance.” To me, this is a Biblical flood that Agwe is going to use to land the final blow on the people who have further rejected his presence. I kind of want these guys to drown after they threw Desiree in the trash like garbage. They blatantly disregard the butterfly phenomenon. They only see what they want to see, what fits with what they’ve already thought. Maybe a flood will wash them clean of their undesirable ideas.

I think I might have missed a deeper message in this story because of my anger. I feel that my takeaways are a little pragmatic and very pessimistic. This book taught me that hope kills. Clinging to an idea instead of facing reality can crush your spirit, slowly depriving it of sustenance instead of ripping off the bandaid and letting it heal. But this book also taught me that you should be the one to define your dreams. Desiree, I feel, has been too affected by the opinions of others. She lets her belief in the gods dictate her actions, and then she lets Daniel string her along. She got caught up in other people’s nets and was tugged wherever the went. She played a pawn in her own story. The patience that she was taught to observe in the book is all for naught if you don’t push yourself along with your own will. Patience without a push will leave you standing outside a store waiting for someone to invite you in. It is you who runs the show; it should be you who opens the door.

A Regency Man With Two Teeth

I am a proud, and probably obnoxious, Anglophile. I love BBC and have watched countless Regency- era mini-series. I should probably be embarrassed, but  I’m not. Pride and Prejudice is one of my all-time favorites. I’ve read the book, watched both BBC mini-series, and even the Kiera Knightly version, which after Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle’s six-episode arc, was very disappointing. But anyway, my favorite character in Pride and Prejudice, coming in just a few inches before Mr. Darcy, is Mr. Bennet. His wit and tendency for solitude juxtapose nicely off of Mrs. Bennet’s sillness and tendency to lean toward the frivolous. I love his pessimism, but also how he, at the same time, albeit begrudgingly, loves his family. These qualities are shared with Tonton Julian, who is a streak of practicality next to his very spiritual wife. The pair of them, after some deeper delving, are so similar to Mr and Mrs. Bennet, it almost caused me to squeal in happiness. But as that is unbecoming of a lady( Warning- I will probably be making even dorkier comments that this to follow), I’ve contained my excitement over this overlap and instead began a rant in Google Docs about why Tonton Julian is the best part of this story.

My Love, My Love takes from several different stories. Elements of Romeo and Juliet and Cinderella and, of course, The Little Mermaid, are sewn together seamlessly, but finding the edging of these stitches has be my favorite part about reading this book. I love Disney and finding allusions to well-known stories and lesser-known, but still familiar, fairy tales, scattered among the adaptation. But I was most overjoyed when I discovered this connection to Jane Austen, but it is fitting that she is involved; after all, she is the fairy godmother of happy-ending Regency romance. The first whisper of similarity came during the chapter one squabble between Tonton Julian and Mama Euralie. Mama Euralie sniffs the air and says, “it will rain soon. A day or so… a week at the most, oui. It’s on it’s way.” Tonton Julian is skeptical of Mama Euralie method of getting information. He counters quite quickly, and with some serious sass if I may say so myself. He asks her, “Is that your old bones talking? Or did Agwe come and whisper in your ear?” He jokes about her religion. It’s a little belittling toward Mama Euralie, but it is more teasing. “How much rain? How little?” he prods. She retorts, saying, “...You blaspheme. Have faith. The gods have never abandoned us.” Mama Euralie believes as much in her gods as Mrs. Bennett believed in marriage. Both men find their wives slightly ridiculous for doing so. I love their practicality and their wit. Even in a dumpy village or a small (Regency equivalent of) redneck city, both men exude a superiority of mind or at least their belief in their superiority of mind.

Tonton Julian also tells Desiree how the world is similar to Mr. Bennett's education of at least his eldest girls.  Both are set in their positions and are unbothered by the permanency of their status, but both remind their favorite (or only) daughter about the ways of society- the real ones that are not sugar coated by their mothers. Tonton Julian tells Desiree that there are without question, poor people living in the grand hommes. He says, “If there were no poor, how do you think the rich would live?” Both recognize the often skewed and biased views of society and turn their criticisms into witty, rhetorical satire.

Both do love their family, though. Tonton Julian takes in Desiree, despite protesting about how there would be “another stomach to fill.” His responses to questions or demands are usually pragmatic, often satirical, but never the full truth. His outer layer is all sharp comments, but he’s more understanding that he lets on. After all, he is the one who works to convince Mama Euralie that Desiree should go to the city if she felt she must. He warned her that the journey might entail her death, but acquiesced, but only after stating that sixteen is the age of contrived bravery. He wants only the best for her, and though he loves her, does not want to force her to stay at home where she is so unhappy. He does this all amid teases toward his wife in the true Mr. Bennett fashion.

Tonton Julian is not as careless as he tries to appear to be. He teases his wife and questions her religion, but does not seek to destroy her faith or treat her badly because of it. His criticisms are in jest and his aloofness for show. He’s a good man, even Gabriel Beauxhomme thinks so. He traveled miles and risked his life to return a man who he didn’t know, that he knew would never respect him, to his home. He is teasing and critical, but begrudgingly loving and immensely more thoughtful than his, to some, sometimes brash comments make him appear to be.

My Love, My Love Chapters 7-13 Discussion Questions

1. Is Daniel using Desiree or are they actually in love?

2. Why do you think the foreign dignitaries are so in love with Desiree, but her own people don't even respect her? What role does skin color play in how society views beauty in the Antilles? 

3. Compare My Love, My Love's Madame Mathilde to the Nurse and/or Friar Lawrence from Romeo and Juliet, specifically focus on how she says this "love destroys you" and the Friar and Nurse's  warnings on how Romeo and Juliet's love was fated to end badly. 

4. When Desiree's outward appearance changes its reminiscent of Cinderella. Everyone begins to look at her now that she's beautiful. What role does this new found appreciation of Desiree's looks play in furthering Desiree's conviction that this is the gods' plan for her and that this is where she is meant to be? 

Gods Among Men

      The gods of My Love, My Love are everything to the peasants of the Jewel of the Antilles. They are responsible for the gifts bestowed on the people, and even though those are severely lacking in their village right now, they remain unrepentant in their praise. This village, though set in modern times, is very tribal. The peasants live in dirt huts and are shocked to see a car. They live in a low tech, agricultural lifestyle. It's not very glamorous and their work load is heavy and yields few results. But the flora around them seem other worldly. There are bright greens and clear crisp blues in their skies and their trees. Vibrant flowers grow on the land. Flamboyants, magnolias, and azaleas all inhabit their small, poor village, but as the drought becomes even more devastating on small farms, the gods great work is less magical. The villagers still turn to them for guidance and gifts. They worship e gods and what each of them represents in hopes they'll protect their designated "charge." 

Each god represents something to the people. As aka is goddess of the earth and especially important to these villagers. She appears to have been a kind protector. The storyteller said that when she smiled the villagers laughed with joy. When I picture her, she's beautiful. She's more than the goddess of the earth, she is the earth. The villagers allude that it is under her guidance and because of her feelings that the earth behaves and looks as it does. She would have dark, toffee skin and would be covered in flora. Vines would climb up her calves and form like an all natural gladiator shoe. Her hair would be dark and tangled artfully on the top of her head. Leaves and flowers would crown her head. More vines would wrap up her hands and stretch up her arms. Her clothes wouldn't be western, instead more tribal. They would be relatively loose fitting, but tied up around her waist. They would be dark green and made up of huge leaves from some massive tropical tree. The color would only be interrupted by vines that had crawled up her shoulders and around her neck. To me, she looks like a cross between a witch doctor and Mother Earth. To create a costume for her, I'd recommend a ton of fake vines and a hairstyle that would require a bunch of hairspray.

Agwe is the second most mentioned god. He's in love with Asaka and delivered plentiful rain to her earth as a show of his affection. The book mentions an instance of infidelity as a possible reason for his withdrawal from their village. He's the god of water. I picture him with blue face paint on his cheeks and forehead resembling waves. He would be dressed in dark blue and his skin would have bluish tint (I'm assuming that he lives or spends time in the water). He would also be clothed in a tunic style dress with a tribal pattern. Black shapes would be imposed on the dark blue cloth. He would have different lengths of blue fabric wrapped around his shoulders and around his waist. They would lay on top of each other and when he moved, would sway in a wavelike manner.

Erzulie and Papa Ge have not been mentioned yet, expect in passing. Erzulie is the goddess of love. I imagine her in a floor length dress. It would be a collage or reds and pinks. Flamboyants and magnolias would be painted on. Her hair would be left down and flow down her back. Flowers would be weaved in her hair and I imagine gold around her eyes and wrapped around her arms. Papa Ge would be the opposite of her flirty and bright coloring. He is the god of death. I think he would look likiie one of those skeletons from the Day of the Dead. His face would be painted in that fashion, but I don't picture him as an actual skeleton. He's the only one of the gods that would be wearing pants. Both would be dark. He would have a necklace of red feathers and a staff of charred wood.

The gods' outfits all reflect their gifts, and perhaps as the book goes on, their personalities. There are several different ways of interpreting their roles. Some might not have dressed them so much according to their roles, but I think their roles are also part of their life force. I pictured them as usual I real people because that's how they are often referred to as in the book. To these villagers, these gods are beings that they can talk to and interact with, so I was reluctant to make them too other worldly as to make their interactions with the villagers seem too ridiculous or unimaginable. I pictured them as retaining many human characteristics, but their customing utilizes bright colors and living things- things that the villagers of the very poor village cannot afford to walk around in. They look similar enough for their interactions to be plausible, but different enough that it's clear that there are from two different worlds.

    *This is similar to my idea, but not the same.

Almost the "Jewel of the Antilles"